"I just don't trust him."

How are you supposed to feel nowadays when a significant other says this to you, or vice versa?

Let's say, for the sake of example, you have an appointment with a personal trainer. A personal trainer who is reasonably attractive at face value, if not for his fake bake and manscaped eyebrows. In another life, you could have seen this person as one half of an equation that resulted in eight minutes of drunken stupor--a really, really drunken stupor--and nothing more. Nonetheless, said gentleman was obviously of the guido nomenclature, and you do not find these type of men attractive on any level that would matter to anyone.

A certain male companion, upon seeing your "collusion" with Trainer Commando, rants and raves about how you're being ripped off. The issue is not how much you're opting to pay for a personal trainer--Trainer Commando himself is obviously at the heart of his furor. As usual, the companion has the whole situation completely wrong; when you tell him so, you gradually elicit the truth behind his castigation. And out the infamous phrase tumbles from his lips.

In the above scenario, the male companion did not stop to think that you have no attraction to this type of person in the first place. Further, in the event that you did find this person attractive, the male companion seems to think that your judgment is nonexistent--you couldn't have seen Trainer Commando's skeeviness if it hit you right on the ass while you were doing medicine ball crunches. You have no ability to think for yourself. You are gullible. You can be easily seduced.

But what happens if you did, in fact, have sweaty gym sex with Trainer Commando in the locker room? By nature of the "trust you/don't trust him" invalidation, the male companion has no legitimate reason to be angry or hurt or disappointed (at least, not with you--he trusts you). He made it known that he doesn't think it's your fault. You weren't strong enough to stave off Trainer Commando's sexual wiles. You had no ability to think for yourself. You were gullible. You were easily seduced.

And it's times like these when you wonder: does the male companion get you as a woman at all? Does he understand that if you had sex with Trainer Commando it's because you damn well wanted to and not because you were "gullible"? Does he understand that you're a woman of your bond and you have no reason to become a West Hollywood cliche? Does he get that you're a strong enough person to fend for yourself, regardless of which of the above two you opted towards?

Next time you think about saying, "I trust you--I just don't trust them" to someone, dear reader, heed your words. Don't make people feel like helpless, vapid weaklings who have no control of their actions--or worse, don't jinx your trust.