According to reports, President Bush says that he wants to send most of the Guantanamo Bay detainees to their home countries. Te prison currently holds about 460 inmates--most of whom are being held with no charge.

My viscerals tell me that it's way more than mere coincidence that George W. made these comments while attending a summit in Vienna, especially after the Guantanamo suicides earlier this month have been on the world news radar (though conveniently not noticeably reported in our own news--maybe for a day or so).

Is George just paying lip service to the frowning world leaders like he's done in the past? And what's to be done with those he wants to keep at Gitmo, these so-called "cold-blooded killers...who need to be tried in US courts" and "will kill again if they are let out on the street"? Is there something that disallows extradition to their home countries, or does US now have some sort of superior international jurisdiction to try these "killers"? Please enlighten me.


However, I won't be overly skeptical. I'll pretend that George W. really does want to close Gitmo. But what then?

In the spirit of summer vacation, I propose we turn Guantanamo Bay into the newest Spring Break spot. Kids will be doing keg stands in Camp Iguana, while others will pose for souvenir photos--let one (Insert Generic Cheap Beer here) chick lead you on all fours with a leash while a camouflaged member of the Fun Police pretends to sodomize you, and have your frat-tastic buddies high-fiving in the background!

Or better yet, put on your best beer goggles and hook up with the normally-I-wouldn't-lower-my-standards-but-it's-Spring-Break guy/girl on the very same sheets one of the Saudi prisoners used to put themselves out of infidel misery! You can even get kinky and reenact the hanging yourself with a designated staff member.

I smell a winner.

The US 'Wants to End Guantanamo' (BBC News International)